Can you decorate the inside of a tornado?

Yes, yes, you can. Since it is proven that we all happen to be sitting or standing here perfectly still on Earth on our cozy couches or driving in our cars while the planet rotates on its axis at a billion million miles per second and we have not yet fallen off - yes, we can decorate the inside of a tornado. One wall for me will be the colors of the most brilliant sunset. It will have a little bench for sitting and maybe an old fashioned lamp-post nearby. And another wall, it will be the image of a bamboo rain forest with rays of sunlight streaming through just after a heavy rainfall. I can hear the water resettling itself on leaves or dripping to the ground. There is a little lady bug working her way around a big droplet as she moves up one of the leaves. (Oh, by the way, this room has just become round).

Another wall will be my meditation spot with a nice little prayer rug and altar. It will have wind chimes, my image of the boy and the elephant from the Ashes and Snow exhibit and some spiritual reading to flip through for inspiration and intention. (I think I may need to move things around in this area a lot until I get this space right.) The last spot or wall is going to be the lawn under the big Oak tree at Eagle and Terry's lake on a bright sunny day. The sun will be glistening off the top of the water like painted speckles of gold OR if it's a cold day in winter I think I can see sitting by a roaring fire in the living room, hearing the crackling of the wood and watch the snow fall silently.

... And, I have decided, I will not have solid walls inside my head (this room), but more like a round covered porch, like a gazebo or veranda. I want to be able to see out as far as possible, to move freely around and through these places, from one area to another, but to always be protected by the roof which is made up of sound ideas I have come up with over the years or that were passed on to me. ( I am laughing because right now my roof might need some patching!)

Anyway, some days really do feel like a tornado, but knowing I can come inside and get some protection from the flying debris (or the daily trials and tribulations) is a blessing. Oh, and as I was looking around for the perfect picture to post along side, I realized there will be a new section for my hammock and yoga mat - of course!

Lonely Towel

I waited as she mindlessly reached for me once more. I am still a little damp from yesterday.
She washes me along with the others about every five days. She never says thank you, but she does straighten me out quite often and makes sure I have other colorful towels to 'hang' with. (She's a little OCD.)

Today I have decided to make a run for it. Many times, while at the local laundromat, I have noticed this other woman and her laundry. Everything looks so nice and she folds every piece perfectly as she removes it from the dryer. She has the cutest little hand towels too, with embroidery on them and some even have initials. (My owner would never think of that.)

This is my plan. It is simple, but it will work.

I jump into the washer with the 'others' as I normally do. I'll do my thing, get cleaned up, rinse and even go into the dryer. But, as she reaches in to pull us out, I will cling tightly to the side and roof of the cylinder in the darkest part! She doesn't really look or feel around anyway- she's too bored to care if we make it out or not.

Now, if I can only get the lady with the nice towelettes to use this dryer. Here she comes. Woops, she's turning around. She forgot something. She dropped a pink sock. Shoot, someone else is coming. He looks mean and really dirty! THOSE clothes are not even clean! "Don't come near this dryer!", I yell. "Can you hear me!" Phew! The lady just came back and asked the man if she could use the dryer I'm in so she can sort and fold at the nearby table. He said yes! Hmmm.... nicer than he looks. I am obviously not thinking clearly. This family swapping is intense.

Well, that's pretty. Who would have thought to match orange, green and blueberry on a purple background for a table cloth? Ooh, and there are some socks. Nice... Good taste so far. There are those cute little towelettes for the bathroom. (I am sure we will be spending a lot of time together.) And what is this? A fabric softener. This woman really is so thoughtful. My owner- I mean former owner- could really take some lessons here.

Hours later- Dry at last and on the nice new towel rack. Pretty bathroom. Gold sink and faucets; Kohler. Porcelain tub with matching gold bear claws. A pretty shade and matching fancy napkins for guests to look at while they are finishing up. Boy, this is the life! "Oh! Here comes someone. Wait...flush...wash...good...inspect hands...good...and......nothing.

"Hey! Don't use those napkins! Use me!" Oh, there's a knock at the door and another person entering. This must be quite a party. This is going to be great! I will finally get some respect and the proper use I've been waiting for. "No! Don't use those. Those are too pretty and can only be used once and then thrown away. Don't you care about the environment?" Maybe the next one.

Counting- 18 people, 3 wine spills, a bit of cake on the lady's blouse and not one use? What is this place- a museum for towels?

One week later. Still hanging here. Not a use or a straightening. Apparently I am just an ornament. Boy, I wonder what washcloth and bathmat are up to at the old place? I am sure she has managed to get mud all over them from her work boots and more hair clogged in the sink. What a messy Marvin. Oh, and that poor little hand towel hanging all by himself now. He is probably taking a ton of abuse without me there; wet and all crinkled up. I sure miss that place. I wonder if I'll ever get used again? I wonder if they know I'm gone. I wonder who of us will become the husband's next car cleaning rag? Oooohhhhh! What was I thinking? Why did I ever leave?

Fall- 3 months later. Apparently I no longer meet the requirements for this season's decor. Yawn. I guess it's into the guest closet for me. At least I can get some sleep in the dark for once, as long as the tablecloths keep to themselves. Wait, no. I am heading towards the laundry basket for a routine cleaning! Could it be possible? Am I headed back to the laundromat? No... Yes... Hooray! Now, if I can only figure out how to get back to my Marilyn...

(Marilyn) "I can't help it. I know it's only a towel, but each time I go to the laundromat I still look for it. It's been months, but it was my favorite one. Maybe today will be the day I find it..."

You can't always get what you want...you know the rest.

So today I realized that this last year is exactly what I asked for. I just did not know it while I was going through it. I did say I needed a break. I got it. I wanted to try running my own training consulting business. I kind of sort of did it. I needed to do some shaking up of some existing notions- Well, I got a huge dose of humility and patience; two things we cannot live without and need to be reminded of often. I also observed my stress management abilities in action (good and bad). I said I would not take the wrong job and hopefully in the next month I will have the right one. I am following my passion. I may have to move, but the places I am looking are very good spots for me.

Following your bliss is a tough road as we all know. The stress can easily deter us back to where we feel safe. Persistence and bravery is a must. Though having those skills does not mean we will actually execute well. Some days people say to me, "Oh, you are doing so great. I would have caved by now!" Thank you. I have caved, several times- you just haven't seen it or I lied with a big smile on my face. Fake it 'till you make it really does work.

What has saved me from public caving? Private caving with family and friends, a lovely yoga retreat for 5 days, training for a 1/2 marathon at the suggestion of my friend, blind support from Majid, and a new routine I adopted from my Dad.

• Each morning read a little something inspiring and write to that OR
  
• Write 10 things I am grateful for
• Write my 10 intentions for the day

Here are mine for Thursday, May 29, 2008:

Thankful for:

1. My nephews
2. My fingers and toes
3. My health
4. God and the universe
5. Family and friends
6. Good books you can get lost in when you need a reality break
7. Breathing
8. I have $ in the bank
9. I live in a beautiful place
10. Laughing

Intentions:

1. Be aware
2. Be flexible- like a palm tree swaying, rather than a stiff tree
   
3. Try not to judge- people are doing the best they can with the knowledge they have
   
4. Look up
5. Be proactive- just do it
   
6. Don't take things so personally- lighten up
   
7. Give
8. Enlighten where you can, but make sure people are asking for it
9. Forgive
10. Be honest with yourself
    

I am glad this post is available when I see the need to use it. Thanks for listening. Signing off.

If you only had a few words to share what would you say?

I have not had a lot to say lately. After a week of writing on the blog,
I realized that I was looking for a venue to be heard and perhaps share
some creativity, but something about this venue has felt wrong.
Although I may be useful to offer some kind words for people
when they are going through tough times, most of what I have to
say is really just filler. However, the following are the things that
I think are critical when having any conversation, sharing thoughts, etc.

Why do you say what you say?
Think before you speak. You have the freedom to choose the outcome-
There is the gap between stimulus what you heard and response
(what you are about to say to what you heard).
Take the moment in that gap to determine what you want your outcome
to be. Think about what you are going to say, how it is going to
sound once it comes out and how it is going to affect the person you are
talking to. Then, open your mouth.   Ask yourself: I am I looking for
an efficient outcome or an effective outcome?
For every action there is a reaction. 

Diversity and Unity:
Treat everyone equally by treating everyone differently.
We are all unique.

Quotes:
People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Tell me why you believe what you believe and maybe I can learn from your
way of thinking. (In other words, have an open mind. Listen to others.)

"Treat others the way you want to be treated." 

Remember:
Everyone has a story to tell. (It does not matter their shape, color, size or age). 
Everyone wants the same thing; to be heard, understood and validated.

 

A Love Letter to my friend Linda from her husband

"And today it was raining and it started to rain a lot.

 I was walking to the subway and there was this old lady with
a cane walking real slow, getting all wet, and she didn't
even have a plastic head thingy that old ladies usually have.

 And so I gave her my umbrella and she was so happy and smiley and a
couple behind me looked at me in amazement as I quickly got drenched.

 I did it because you have made me better and more considerate.

So I give you credit for another good deed (and because we’re the same).

It was a good umbrella and I don't know where it came from and I think
it was yours, not sure, but I will replace it.

Maybe we should have a reserve of umbrellas for occasions such as this."

Randy Pausch

I am hoping as you read this you will have already heard of Randy Pausch, the professor from Carnegie Mellon who gave a speech last September to his students on overcoming obstacles, realizing dreams, enabling the dreams of others and living in the moment. I have been wanting to write about him for the last few days and am now finally getting to it. His book, "The Last Lecture" has just arrived to me via my mom in the mail. I have already downloaded his speech and PowerPoint presentation so I can use it one day to motivate some unsuspecting company and my daily journal is filled with notes I took when I watched his recent interview with Diane Sawyer. His original lecture was just supposed to be for his class, but someone posted it on U tube.

Why am I so fascinated? Because he is yet another teacher who has found a way to get his message across, reminding me (us) what is important. For me, during chaotic times I need to be reminded of that message a lot. Unfortunately, Randy is dying of cancer and has less than six months to live, but his message is a strong one and I think, I am not sure, his message would be the same regardless of the cancer. So, without further adieu, here is my interpretation of his message:

He talks about telling the truth- all the time. He talks about finding something great in each day. He talks about accepting the cancer and inevitable death, but not living out his last days in sadness. He wants these days to count just as the days did before his diagnosis. He talks about the Serenity Prayer,

" God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

He talks about letting go of being arrogant and the importance of holding on to childlike wonder and imagination. (His parents let him paint whatever he wanted to on his walls as a kid. He painted rockets and planets and even an elevator.) He also talks about brick walls, which I found particularly significant. He sees brick walls that you stumble across in life as an opportunity for you to figure out or challenge yourself how you are going to get around them. He also sees them placed there to keep those who should really not be there, out. He talks about being given the option of taking small risks or big ones. He says always risk big. If you fail, you will also learn big rather than just taking a pass at the mediocre. He talks about being earnest over "hip" any day. He also says, TALK ABOUT THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM.

He says that we should stop telling people how to live their lives, but instead tell them stories of lives well lived. Lead by example. Lastly, he talks about the end goal: It is not about how to achieve your dreams, it is about how to live your life.

Again, I have heard all of these messages before in a variety of iterations, but the difference this time is that this is an average guy going about his business living his life and he managed to impact over 10 million people so far without even trying. He created this speech and this book for his family and relayed it to his class, no one else. It caught fire on its own. - For me, there are not enough good stories being told.

The other significance of Randy Pausch to me is that I have recently been in the presence of two extraordinary men in the last few years who have affected me immensely and remind me exactly of Randy. They have changed the course of my life; Keith Hunter and Bob Lazzarini. Keith was a colleague at Rhythm and Hues who joined me on a leadership project. He came in quietly, listened and when he finally decided to speak, his words were filled with passion, truth, empathy and they were exactly the answer to the problem we were trying to solve. Keith was brilliant and shared it everyday, but was egoless. He was humble, giving, practical and he too possessed that childlike wonder. I would often see him wandering the halls with his remote control airplane, a drum or riding his razor scooter in the parking lot. On occasion he would bring his young son Max to work and when I heard them talking it was usually about robots or building some new cool thing. Keith also wrote children's book and was an accomplished artist. Keith died of cancer in 2007. It was very hard to let him go, but to see that he had impacted so many people while he was here made me rethink why I am here and how I want to spend my time. Sometimes when I am caught between a rock and a hard place I see a little version of Keith on my shoulder and then I know what to do.

About the same time I knew Keith, I was going to school and met a professor named Bob. He taught my Personal and Professional Effectiveness class using Stephen Covey's, "7 Habits" book. That class and Bob were the catalysts that changed my career. Bob, like Keith, listened, had empathy, strength, and courage to be who he was at all times. Bob taught about values and doing the right thing. Somehow he had just the right balance of pc needed for the workplace and gusto to tell it like it is. He never offended anyone. In my opinion, he just did/does the right thing ALL OF THE TIME. Bob just had surgery for pancreatic cancer in January. He is recovering, but it is a very slow process.

I know this is all just a coincidence, these three men, all having such an impact on me and all being sick. I know there are many more people out there that are just as amazing, but these people have somehow crossed over into my life and as sad as it is for the families and everyone involved, I am so glad to have known them or in Randy's case, known of him.

Link to Randy Pausch's speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

I Fell Down...Off My Kayak

It is the most amazingly beautiful day here in Redondo Beach, CA - right in front of my house. It's 82 degrees, sunny and the water is perfect for dipping. So, I decided to head down to the beach with my kayak and makeshift kayak carrier ( a child's red play school wagon). Little did I know that there was a surfing competition going on and hundreds of people blanketing the area (my backyard!). The first thing I had to figure out was where I was going to get in (launch) because I did not want to hit anyone if my boat became a little surly in the water. Well, it did not take long for me to make this happen. I quickly found a break in the people, jumped in, started paddling as fast as I could and the first set of waves descended upon me. I got through wave one and two, but wave three threw me. It rushed me backwards towards the beach, out of control. I am hoping that anyone wading nearby will get out of the way and I eventually fall out of the boat and it lands nicely on top of me as I make it to shore. Yes, embarrassing. No injury or pain, just a little humiliation. However, I have been in this philosophical place lately so I just stand up, get back in and try again. No skin off my back. Thankfully though, there was a nice guy and his daughter watching my little adventure. He offered to help give me a start through the next set of waves once I got settled and then I was finally off on my way to calm waters.

Now I am sitting peacefully out in the middle of the water, looking at kelp beds, watching birds, viewing people from a distance, and just being. I am lying- I am little freaked out. Is there a shark around? Is he angry? Does he eat blue boats that look like skinny whales? Hmm... how long should I stay here and is the tide going to pull me out? Okay, I guess it's time to go in so I can relax where something is not moving, which was my intent for coming out in here in the first place. Falling off the boat must have gotten to me more than I thought.

This time I am much more methodical in picking my place to land and possibly crash into the shore. I see a nice area that is relatively uninhabited and I can actually ride a wave in, jump off and cool off before I have to pull it out of the water and up the beach. I have drifted a few hundred feet so I will have to do some slogging through the sand to get back, but at least no one will get hurt and I will not have to face anyone who might have seen my original ascent.

Perfect! I am gliding in and jump out. I am pulling the boat up and there arrives a neighbor from down the beach. "Boy, who knew that wave was going to get you so badly. I was sure you had it made. You really took a tumble!" Great...